By Samantha Goodwin , FashionnStyle Reporter | Oct 07, 2012 01:11 PM EDT
Nicole Scherzinger finally opens up about her eating disorder and her struggle against Bulimia. Says she hated herself for hurting herself.
In a special episode of "Behind the Music" on VH1 Sunday, former Pussycat Dolls singer Nicole Scherzinger talks about her struggle with bulimia and how she kept the eating disorder to herself as she was too embarrassed to speak about it.
"I really was so disgusted with myself," Scherzinger said. She adds "I hated myself." Scherzinger was very much attached to her group and always thought her bandmates Jessica Sutta, Melody Thornton, Carmit Bachar, Ashley Roberts and Kimberly Wyatt were "like my sisters," she quotes.
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Scherzinger reveals that the disorder lead to blisters and scars that she hide by keeping to herself. Scherzinger said "I did it every day for, like, years." She adds: "Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I'd try to hide those. I think the girls could tell."
It took Scherzinger eight long years to finally open up and said she never spoke about it earlier as it would affect her family and hence she decided to keep the problem to herself. "It's embarrassing. I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know. I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction," Scherzinger said.
Scherzinger also adds it got so bad at a certain period that when she was off stage, she would get back to her room and as she was alone, would end up hurting herself. "It's like when I got offstage, I was on this high, and I'd come back to my room and I'd be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction." she said.
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